Spudgers at the ready! The 5th Generation iPod Touch sprung upon us with an early release, so we jumped out and got it on our lunch break and tore it down for dinner. It's out in stores and coming to a pocket near you.

Tech Specs:

• 4-inch (diagonal) widescreen Retina display with Multi-Touch IPS technology
• 802.11a/b/g/n Wi-Fi (802.11n 2.4GHz and 5GHz) + Bluetooth 4.0
• 5-megapixel iSight camera with LED flash and a ƒ/2.4 aperture + FaceTime 1.2 MP HD camera capable of capturing HD video (720p) up to 30 fps
• New iPod touch loop
• Three-axis gyro + Accelerometer
• 32 GB or 64 GB storage capacity

Monkey see, monkey do.

While Apple might not provide repair instructions, they do tell you how to get your product free of the packaging—so much for the old-fashioned way of ripping into it yourself.

We're thankful Apple has decided to provide its adoring fans with a proper unboxing procedure. We're just glad we didn't have to resort to extreme measures.

Whether you're looking at the front or back, the new Touch is sleek.

If the taste of the rainbow didn't give it away, the Touch has an identifying model number A1421 printed on the back.

With an 1136-by-640-pixel resolution at 326 pixels per inch, the Touch is begging for a test drive. We like to light up our gadgets for a split second before we tear them apart, as a sort of ceremonial goodbye.

Now that is over, let's get inside!

But wait, there's more! We spy with our little eye…a button. Of course, we just had to press the button.

Apple kindly included a retractable post for "the loop" that comes with your iPod Touch.

With any luck, this loop will prevent the unintentional iPod "drop test" that often results in shattered hopes and screens.

How does the 5th Generation iPod Touch stack up to the iPhone 5? Well, literally speaking, they're fairly well matched in terms of size.

The new iPod Touch shares the same height (within a ± .01 inch difference) as the iPhone 5.

Here is the breakdown of the numbers:

• Height: 4.86 inches (123.4 mm) versus the 4.87 inches (123.8 mm) of the iPhone 5.
• Width: 2.31 inches (58.6 mm) on both the Touch and the iPhone 5.
• Depth: 0.24 inch (6.1 mm) versus 0.30 inches (7.6 mm) on the iPhone 5.
• Weight: 3.10 ounces (88 grams) versus the 3.95 ounces (112 grams) on the iPhone 5.

For those of you keeping track at home, the iPod is 20% smaller by volume with respect to the iPhone 5.

On your mark, get set....HEAT GUN!

It took all of thirty seconds to soften the adhesive at the bottom and top of the Touch to a point where we weren't terrified to pry at it with an opening tool.

Do not adjust your screens, the images you see here have a purpose.

In case you thought that a quick zap with the heat gun and a gentle pry is all it would take to get into the Touch, think again!

There are clips (first image) and adhesive (second image, near the home button) holding this iPod together.

Sadly, getting the lid off doesn't reveal any of the more "funner" we were promised. We were expecting to find a surprise—maybe a clue that would lead to the whereabouts of Jimmy Hoffa's remains—but instead we were met with an obtrusive EMI shield and several screws.