Mysterious and aloof, no one truly knows if the entity known as "The Jeff" exists. Being classy, handsome, and nocturnal, sightings are rare. While photographic evidence exists, as exhibited below, all who gaze upon such images are deemed cursed for life. Legend has it that plucking a single hair from a sleeping The Jeff will cure afflictions of vapidity and make your most recent series of dreams come true.
Exhibit A: A The Jeff Sighting.
Warning: side effects of viewing this photo may include, but are not limited to: headaches, nausea, color-blindness, nose bleeds, Klingon conversion disorder, 20/15 vision, laser beams, cat allergies, post traumatic stress disorder, an inability to punctuate after eating, seven years of bad hair days, intestinal droid disorder, twitching, bantha infestation, and sudden death.
If you've been tempted by sheer jocoseness to look upon the photo above, you'll notice the typical ocular slant, indicating that The Jeff is about to render his victim (the un-assuming humanoid on the right) senseless and purple with his snarky venom. Utilizing upper occipital salivary glands hidden beneath its flowing mane, The Jeff lurks beside his victims and uses biosonar to distract them, suddenly flinging venom onto his prey with a single hair flip.
The venom, while colorless and nearly invisible, has the odor of polyalphaolefins mixed with sazerac. Once infected, the venom spreads through the skin into the lymphatic system, causing irreversible suovosyndrome. Symptoms of suovosyndrome include: increased ability to detect sarcasm, heightened sense of skepticism, obsessive compulsive chordate disorder, social anxiety, alcoholism, hug allergies, mood swings, and obscure cognoscente and/or sardonic superpowers.
If you have any of the above listed symptoms, we sincerely apologize—you have been Jeff'd.