I need a bit part..

My Problem

Gosh Dernit, A user needed to remove the battery from his rascally laptop, but for some reason the removable battery was designed to only be removed with a torque secure driver, which by tarnation I didn't have.

My Fix

Low and behold, this new fangaled cyber monday happened, and you fellers had prices better than a mule with lipstick. So I yanked out my gold bag and ponied up the price, and now this feller has his laptop all fixed up and ready to ride.

My Advice

Son, if you end up talking like you are in the old west, well by golly you will have people thinking you are crazy...