SMC Reset and Diagnostics not allowed/functioning?

I recently replaced my battery and MagSafe port, and after finally figuring out to make sure everything was connected, I've attempted both an SMC reset and Apple diagnostics, both several times, to no avail. Replacement parts are not genuine Apple (move on if you're just going to "Told You So" me), but the computer doesn't recognize the new battery, and the system indicator in the toolbar perpetually shows 1% and doesn't indicate that the computer is charging even though the AC is connected. Additionally the MagSafe indicator only illuminates green, and the battery level indicator on the side of the machine will only flash the "dead battery" level sign.

Any help/thoughts/ideas?